Just logged on to find that Blogger has a BRAND NEW LOOK!  WHOOPDY FUCKING DOO!
Translation:  Blogger just hid all of your shit again.  Good luck posting today!

Well Papa's got a brand new bag.  And by bag I mean story.  Check it out here at the awesome new Ezine, Near To The Knuckle.  The story is called Drinkin' on the Job.  Guess what it is about.
http://www.close2thebone.co.uk/  Hopefully I can paste the picture of the girl with the generous rack that they assigned when I posted on facebook.  Please check it out and tell me what you think about it...good or bad.  I love constructive criticism.

Been a while, huh?  As if I am addressing an audience that has been waiting with baited breath for my next post.  Yes, I have been working on my novel and no, I haven't given up writing short fiction.  It has just been a while since I have submitted any.

So, here you go.  The poop is called Free Like Sherry and it is at A Twist of Noir  http://a-twist-of-noir.blogspot.com/

Writer's Cell Block at Black Heart Magazine

This is my first ever reprint, and I am very excited.  Writer's Cell Block first appeared in Twist of Noir, which is a fine E-zine where I am looking forward to having more work appear.  But I really dig the layout of Black Heart Magazine...plus they put a picture of my mug along with it.

In other news, Thug of the Day will continue shortly...stay tuned.

http://blackheartmagazine.com/2012/01/13/writers-cell-block-by-dana-kabel/

Fucking Santa

Okay, there's a good reason I opted to have the adults only warning upon entering this blog.  Case in point is the title of my latest story at David Barber's Flash Fiction Offensive.  I guess it is safe to tell you the name of my story is Fucking Santa...as in somebody actually fucking...Santa.

I know you were probably thinking, nay...hoping that the title was indicative of an expression of anger.  As in, "I didn't get a pony for Christmas?  Fucking Santa!"

But no, as you will find out when you read it; Fucking Santa is about, well, fucking Santa.  Go ahead and enjoy.  You have a whole year to get your name back on the "nice" list. http://theflashfictionoffensive.blogspot.com/2011/12/christmas-grit-fucking-santa-by-dana-c.html

THUG OF THE DAY: KRAMPUS

THUG OF THE DAY: KRAMPUS; SANTA'S DEMON SIDEKICK

He's making a list, he's checking it twice, and if you've been naughty your Christmas won't be so nice.  According to ancient German folklore, while St. Nicholas was visiting the homes of good little girls and boys to reward them with toys and sweets, Krampus visited the bad children to mete out their punishment.

Sometimes Krampus would leave coal and switches in a naughty child's boots for their parents to swat them with.  Those were the kids that got off easy.

Krampus carried switches to punish you with himself if you were bad enough.  Imagine waking to a hoofed and horned demon with red eyes and a forked tongue, pulling you out of bed to lash your hide.

Worse yet, sometimes Krampus would bring a wash tub to drown you in, or a sack to carry you off to a cave where he would eat you.  The very worst boys and girls would be dragged out of their beds and carried to Hell.





Christmastime had something for everyone to look forward to.

THUG OF THE DAY: Erzsébet  "BLOOD QUEEN" Báthory  

Ladies, the next time you hear someone whining about the cruel animal testing your favorite cosmetic company performs just so you can hold on to your youthful visage, throw this one in their face.

The nefarious "Blood Countess" of Hungary was willing to go the extra evil mile to preserve her beauty.  Erzsébet Báthory (1560-1614) bathed in the blood of her victims in an effort to turn the clock back on aging.

The Blood Countess was rumored to have tortured and killed over 650 young women along with four of her friends who all happened to be fans of the occult.

While the body count and the blood baths may have been inflated to bolster her evil image, the countess was found guilty of only 80 murders.  But since she didn't show up for the trial, she was never convicted.

Bloody Liz may have escaped the fate of her collaborators, who were all put to death immediately, but Hungary's Finest caught up with her at home eventually.  Her aristocratic status saved her from immediate death, but it didn't save her from being imprisoned for the rest of her life in a room in her own castle.

King Matthias sent the royal masons to brick her up, leaving a couple of small slits to pass food through.  The bitch lived for four years after that.

In the height of her gruesome activities, the countess mutilated the hands, faces and genitalia of her victims.  She tortured them with fire, blades, and needles.  Sometimes she would bite the flesh off from their faces and arms or perform bizarre surgeries on them while they were alive.

She appeared to turn it over to the Lord in her final days, and was reportedly heard singing religious hymns and praying to God before her death.

But after she died a paper was found that she had written a prayer to the devil on, imploring the prince of darkness to send 99 cats to kill King Matthias and the people who had brought her to justice.  Crazy kid.

In Hopes That St. Nicholas...

Yes, boys and girls, it's that most wonderful time of the year....ho,ho,ho, and mistletoe...pine trees and dancing lights, candy canes and warm cookies.  And don't forget old Santa Claus.  That jolly old elf comes down the chimney to bring presents and happiness and double fisted vigilante justice to good little kiddies all over the world.

My present to you is my latest story at David Barber's The Flash Fiction Offensive.  READ IT OR ELSE!!!  And have yourself a Merry Little Christmas.  http://theflashfictionoffensive.blogspot.com/2011/12/christmas-grit-in-hopes-that-st.html