Buy it Before You Try It!

My next piece of twisted writing can be found in an anthology from Gutter Books called Out of the Gutter 8. The story is called You Oughtta be in Pictures that I should have been pimping in time for Valentine's day. It's a rather romantic little piece of flash about sex and porno and snuff...er, I mean stuff.

Anyway, as much as I would love to put up a link where you can read it for free, you have to BUY it! Moohoohaha (evil laugh). It is my second story in one of the Out of the Gutter print offerings and you can purchase it here in solid form or for your lovely electronic reading device. I prefer Kindle...when you get tired of reading, you can watch porn on it. Or Netflix.  Here's the link for purchasing OOTG 8 http://www.amazon.com/Out-Gutter-8-Matthew-Louis/dp/0982688792/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1361600936&sr=1-1&keywords=out+of+the+gutter

As well as a lovely picture...



Yep, that's my name on the cover. Yep, I'm bragging about that. bitch.

Crystal Freaking Meth Baby

Okay, I really can't believe I forgot to put this one up. My friend from across the pond, David Barber, gave this story that I had so much fun writing, a home at Thrillers, Killers 'n' Chillers. Despite my various sultry dalliances with every brand of alcohol under the sun...including Listerine and rubbing alcohol, I have never taken methamphetamine. Met lots of folks who have. Such a fun drug...for other people to take. I guess the closest I have come to that kind of sick high is drinking lethal doses of lethally strong coffee. Oh well, if any authentic meth heads have a problem with the real feel of the story, drop me a line. I'm not in the book, so you'll have to try every variation of every ten digit sequence of numbers you can list and systematically eliminate everyone who answers the phone that isn't me. It won't take you long...if you're a real meth head. Or you can read and comment here http://thrillskillsnchills.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2012-10-07T12:33:00%2B01:00&max-results=10&start=8&by-date=false

The Bad Blogger

I admit it...I am bad. In my forty-three years on this earth, there have been many things that
I have been bad at. At various times in my life I have been a bad student, a bad athlete, a bad musician, a bad friend, father, husband, worker...etcettera etcettera, blah-blah-blah. Never mind all of that, I did not intend this to be a post on self-degredation and self-loathing. Nay, my ego demands that I brag from time to time about all of the things that I am good at.

For instance, you will never hear me admit that I am a bad writer. My writing is something that I have been complemented on since I was a small boy, and I have had nothing but time to improve upon it.

Having said that, a good writer does not a good blogger make. My entries are few and far between. The only time I pay attention to this ethereal little corner of the Internet that I can kind of claim as my own, is when I have a story appearing somewhere in print or evailable online.

This serves as an attempt to plug my product and archive a new published story. However, in light of the recent geographical changes in my life, I seem to have forgotten this dark little hideout entirely.

The greatest part of this sin is that I have had work published that I have plugged on facebook and have not archived or plugged here in six months. I was almost afraid that when I tried to log on, I would find virtual yellow police tape roping off entrance to my own crime scene.

So to begin mending this grievous error, I am announcing that way back on December 10, 2012, Court Merrigan published one of my favorite stories in the Bareknuckles Pulp online magazine over at Out of the Gutter. Calling Home is featured in issue no. 20, and you can find it here http://www.outofthegutteronline.com/2012/12/bareknuckles-pulp-no-20-calling-home.html as well as on the link to the left along with all of my other published works. Thanks Court. Next time I won't drop the ball on timely pimping.

Sleep deprivation does crazy things to the ordinary person.  Just think of what it does to someone who is already mentally bent.  For instance, for a couple of weeks I was lucky to get one or two hours of shut-eye a night and spent my days enjoying:
  -jitters
  -ringing in my ears
  -dizziness
  -headaches

When I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did.  There was a follow-up of:
  -disorientation
  -hearing voices, and my favorite...
  -hallucinations.

It turned out that some of my arthritis medication was tweaking with my cholesterol and high blood pressure meds and with some Frankenstein like experimentation, things are pretty much back to normal.  Well...crazy normal.

During this strange period that happened just a couple of weeks ago, I did a shit load of writing.  Unfortunately, a lot of it is what your would expect from a disoriented, hallucinating insomniac.

I also had one of my favorite stories run by Joe Clifford over at The Flash Fiction Offensive.  It is called Nothing Left To Lose,  and it can be called a homage to a famous scene from The Deer Hunter.

While I did hock the shit out of this story on facebook, I thought that I wrote a little something about it here and put the link up over on the right.  In fact, I would have bet money that I did so.  Must have been dreaming...or day dreaming at night...or hallucinating or whatever.

Anyway, here it is damnit.  I'd apologize, but...what the hell would it mean anyway?

find it here http://www.outofthegutteronline.com/2012/07/nothing-left-to-lose.html

read it and weep bitches.

We all float down here.

Let me tell you a little about the world I live in.  Tony Soprano is still breaking legs, Max Cady is doing a thousand pullups in his prison cell, waiting for the day he walks out into the world to bring vengence to the lawyer that sent him up the river, Michael Corleone is in the men's room looking for the gun taped behind the toilet, and Travis Bickle is standing in front of the mirror with a gun saying, "You talkin' to me?"

I grew up on this shit.  I am the Cable Guy; raised by the boob tube and nurtured by the silver screen and pulp fiction.  Call me crazy, but when Michael Madsen dances to Stuck In The Middle With You and slices the cop's ear off with a straight razor I get a little tingle up my spine.

And yes, The Deer Hunter was one of my favorite movies of all time.  Yet when I wrote the story, Nothing Left To Lose, I wasn't consciously thinking about it for one second.

I was on facebook and saw a post from Joe Clifford that my favorite flash site, The Flash Fiction Offensive was in need of submissions.

The first story I had published online was Catching Up, which was accepted by DZ Allen for his Muzzleflash magazine.  Mr. Allen was an assistant editor of Out of the Gutter, and Muzzleflash was his baby.

He went on to accept a handful of other stories from me over the course of a couple of years before he decided to shut the site down and concentrate on his own writing.

After a short hiatus, The Flash Fiction Offensive was born; created by a couple of other assistant editors from Out of the Gutter.

As anyone reading this probably knows, eventually the very talented David Barber eventually took over duties at FFO and did an exceptional job.  Now Joe Clifford and Tom Pitts are at the helm continuing to put out quality fiction.

Am I biased?  Sure I am.  But I can afford to be.  Read any story in the FFO archives by any of the writers who have been published there and you will find some damned fine stuff.

So when I saw the post calling for submissions at oh, two something in the morning, I put a pot of coffee on, sat down to my laptop, and pounded out the first thing that came to mind.

It was fast, it was violent, and yes it was inspired by one of my favorite movies of all time.  But I really wasn't think Deer Hunter when I wrote it.  The next day when I read it and carved a couple hundred words off...yeah, I saw it then.  A similarity, a homage that bleed out of my subconscious.

Man was I happy when I read Joe Clifford's flattering introduction and saw that he pointed out the connection.  So what are you waiting for, go here http://www.outofthegutteronline.com/2012/07/nothing-left-to-lose.html and read it.  And while you're at it, peruse the archives of this great Ezine.  Or else.  I know where you live. :)

Work work work it.

I am very pleased to have had a story just recently published in Shotgun Honey.  I had a couple of previous stories rejected  by them, so it was that much sweeter to have the last story that I submitted to them accepted.

Shotgun Honey certainly raises the bar for the quality of submissions, and that is a good thing.  Nothing can motivate you more than a rejection that is accompanied by words of encouragement to try try again.  It tightens things up the way they should be.  Go here to check it out.
http://www.shotgunhoney.net/author/dana-c-kabel

I'm back and you know what that means; new stories.  Look to the left and you will find links to Time Bomb, which appears in the new Flash Fiction Offensive.  You will also find Friends Without Benefits at Yellow Mama.  I love both of these e-zines and I am proud to appear in both.

At the end of the month I will have yet another story in another fine e-zine, Shotgun Honey.  Until next time...